10 dating rules made to be broken.

10 dating rules made to be broken.

Finding and keeping a lover is like sitting your exams, only with more rules. Don’t mention the ex, don’t have sex on a first date, don’t eat garlic, don’t forget to wear your lucky pants… I could go on, but the internet only has so many pages to go round.

But rules assume that all people and relationships are the same. If dating for 10 years before marriage works for one couple, therefore it must work for all… right? Well no. In fact, by slavishly following rules rather than listening to your heart, you may be doing your happiness more harm than good.

Some chunks of received wisdom hold a lot of truth, but many do not. The key is to follow your own path according to how you feel and how your relationship is going. Here are 10 rules that you should question, or even ditch altogether.

1. Don’t mention the ex

If you so much as hint that you’ve ever dated anyone else, your new relationship is sunk before it’s even set sail – or so the theory goes. But is this rule really so sensible? If you’re on a date with someone you click with, you’ll find yourselves sharing all sorts of stories, hopes, worries and dreams before the evening is out, and your ex is very likely to figure in at least one of them.

Rather than struglle not keep your ex out of the conversation entirely, mention them in a friendly, dispassionate way. Don’t go out of your way to mention them, but don’t be afraid to refer to them if the context arises. Let your date know that you’re mature and sorted enough to say “my ex” without collapsing into a sobbing heap. Make light of it and move on: “not supposed to mention the ex, am I? Shame, I was just about to buy you another drink…”

2. Never have sex on the first date

Sometimes, as the old advert used to say, you just can’t help acting on impulse. Having sex on a first date does not mean a woman is “easy” and a man is pushy. It may just mean that two people really, really fancy each other. There’s no reason why they won’t want to see each other again and have lots more great sex.

If your date is only after a shag, it won’t make the blindest bit of difference if you do it on the first date or the fifth – they’ll still dump you afterwards.

3. Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen

Human beings need their egos stroked on a daily basis, so they’re attracted to people who like them. Treating ‘em mean only makes ‘em go and find someone else. No-one wants a stalker, but subtly letting them know you’re interested is the way to get a second date.

4. If it’s meant to be, you’ll know at first sight

Love is a stew of lust, friendship, trust, fascination, empathy and madness, and it takes time to develop. (We’re talking about romantic love, not love for your cat, or your Macbook Pro.) Lust at first sight happens all the time, but it ain’t love until you’ve shared a bathroom.

5. The man should pay on a first date

This is the “Manhattan rule” of dating. A newspaper outlined it thus: “You are a lady. Let him be the man.” Oh right, I’ll just get my Geisha outfit. You can’t apply hard and fast rules to this, because it depends on so many factors. Who asked for the date, whether one of you had to travel, or one earns significantly more… all sorts. Many men do like to pay, especially if you’ve made an effort to dress up (call it the legwax tax), but it doesn’t mean he’s boss.

6. Your one true soulmate is out there somewhere

A lovely spiritual idea, and a load of hogwash. Kindred spirits are the stuff of airport novels. Fact is, the world is stuffed with potential lovers for you. The idea that we each have one true love is not only drivel, it’s dangerous. If you believe that your ex was your destined soulmate, you’ll never get over them, and you’ll never give anyone else a chance.

7. Be their best friend, and it will turn into love

Many is the lovelorn man or woman who has tried to seduce their crush by being their bestest buddy. If you’re there when they need a shoulder, surely one day they’ll realise that they can’t live without you? A close, long-term friendship can indeed turn into love. But it probably won’t. If someone’s not interested in dating you now, there’s no reason why they’ll be more interested after a year using you as a freebie psychotherapist.

8. Compatible couples like all the same things

It’s a buzz to have loads in common, but it does not mean you’d make a perfect couple. Likewise, if you don’t like all the same things, there’s no reason why you can’t have a decent relationship. Don’t be too quick to run away from someone if you notice “uncool” books or CDs on their shelves, or because they’re a vegan and you’re a bacon addict. Learn and be inspired by your differences.

9. Never shack up too quickly

You probably know a couple who dated for a few intense weeks before announcing their engagement. You showered them in congratulations, but you thought: “It’ll never last.” Indeed, that crazy infatuation may wear off to leave little long-term compatibility. On the other hand, it may not. Sometimes you “just know”.

Likewise, a long courtship doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage. Brief, unhappy marriages often follow courtships of 10 years or more. Marriage can seem like a way to put the spark back into a relationship that had run its course. Sadly, it’s nothing of the sort.

10. Never cut short a first date

So if you turn up for a blind date and don’t fancy them, you should stay all evening anyway – partly to be polite, and partly because you may change your mind by chucking-out time. We disagree. Life’s too short to waste an entire evening of it on someone you’d rather carry up Ben Nevis than have sex with. You’re wasting your time and theirs, and you’re leading them on. Have one drink, say that you don’t think there’s any chemistry, thank them and bid farewell.

Top 5 things you must do on a date

Be easy

Whilst playing hard to get looks suave and elegant, research says avoid it. Instead you should try to act available on a date. Firstly, because it’s clear you both fancy each other, otherwise why would you have agreed to go on a date? Secondly, playing hard to get doesn’t actually work. It is thought that we find people attractive when they are hard for everyone else to get, but love the fact that they are easy for us to have. Therefore on your date, try to say things like “I’ve been single for a while. It’s not that I haven’t had any offers, I just really liked you”. Or if someone asks you to dance or offers to buy you a drink, politely say no and give all your attention to your date. Make them aware that you’re a catch, but remind them that they are the one who has caught you.

Talk about yourself

The conversation aspect of a date is scary.  The thought of awkward pauses and ugly silences is enough to make anyone’s stomach churn like a washing machine. Don’t run off to a nunnery yet though guys and girls. An easy conversation to have is one that focuses on you. Talk about your past, where you grew up or where you studied. Discussing your background will not only point to values that are important to you, it will also indicate to your date the potential you have to be a long-term partner. Researchers found that the most stable relationships were built by people who had similar backgrounds and similar attitudes. Avoid talking about yourself too much though, this is one of the biggest dating no-no’s. Instead, once you’ve talked about your hometown, ask them where they first lived, or their terrible teenage fashion.

Dress to impress

Admittedly what you look like is important, but really it’s not what you wear that counts, but how you wear it. When we decide who we fancy, body language and tone of voice are key players. So don’t fret about how you look. The key to a good outfit is one that improves your body language. Make sure the clothes you choose fit, are comfortable and practical. There are a few little tricks you can use that may help your dating success too though. Firstly, ladies if you want a second date leave your neck and your wrists bare. Guys, choose to wear fabrics like wool or silk. These soft fabrics will get your girl snuggling into you, and when she does, the soft fabric causes her brain to release oxytocin – the bonding hormone. Finally guys and girls, avoid wearing perfume. Smell is intrinsic to dating and they need a whiff of your natural scent.

Show them that you like them

We all know body language is hugely important when dating, so use it to show your date you like them. Not only will this make them feel great, you’ll be able to judge quickly if they like you back. Women have 52 signals that tell men they’re keen, whilst guys have just 10.  Ladies if you want to give him a clear message, tilt your neck to the side, lock eyes with him and touch his forearm. Or if you’re feeling really brave, touch his knee. Although cheesy, you can also subtly lick your lips. For the guys, pay attention to how you look. Checking your shirt is straight and your jacket neat may sound odd, but preening yourself is a clear indicator that you care about the girl you’re with. Also whilst you’re listening to your date, slightly raise your eyebrows, it shows you’re really interested in what she is talking about.

Surprise them

You’ve been wined, you’ve been dined and now it may be time for a cheeky smooch. The first kiss is a deal maker or breaker for most so getting it right is important. Remember to vary your speed. Start off slowly, and then build pace before easing off again. This will keep them hooked and wanting more. If you feel the heat is dying, pop in a new move. Take the tip of your tongue and circle the tip of theirs, massaging it slightly. Do this slowly. Our lips, mouths and tongues are highly sensitive so make the most of the kiss and try new things. They’ll think you’re a kissing guru. Plus their minds will soon be turning to what you’ll be like under-the-covers. If you don’t think the kiss is coming, why not go for a cocktail? Choose a lime based drink for you and your date. Lime increases people’s testosterone levels, which in turn boosts the sex drive.

10 bad habits that are good for you

Ever promised yourself that this year you were definitely going to give that bad habit the flick, only to give into your vice again after only a couple of hours? Well, the good news is that ‘bad’ habit may not actually be as harmful as you think. Here are 10 common ‘bad’ habits that are actually good for your health.

Gossiping
Most of us love a good gossip, whether we’re giggling over a colleague’s new romance or passing an opinion on someone’s outfit choice or behavior, and the good news is that gossiping could actually be good for us. Not only does listening to gossip help us to learn more about the characters of those around us, bonding and having a laugh with your peers also releases feel-good hormones which help to relieve stress and anxiety.

Drinking coffee

Although drinking too much coffee can be detrimental to your health, in smaller quantities the popular hot drink can actually be good for you. When drunk in moderation (no more than three cups per day), caffeine can speed up your metabolism, boost exercise endurance and reduce your risk of gallstones and kidney stones. A study by the Harvard Medical School has also found that women who drink two or more cups of coffee a day are less likely to be depressed, while separate research has shown that drinking three cups cuts risk of age-related diabetes.

Fidgeting

It’s the bane of school teachers everywhere, yet research suggests that fidgeting may be no bad thing – at least in us adults. Research suggests that fidgeting can burn up to 350 extra calories a day, helping you to keep off those excess pounds. To further increase your calorie burn, try to squeeze in more incidental exercise, such as getting up to change the channel rather than using the remote control.

Swearing
Swearing: it’s not big and it’s not clever... but studies suggest that in certain situations it may actually be good for you. According to a study by the University of East Anglia, swearing at work could help employees cope with stress and maintain solidarity. Meanwhile, researchers at Keele University’s School of Psychology found that swearing can provide effective short-term relief from pain. However, the study also notes that swearing should be reserved for crises only, as the higher the daily swearing frequency was for participants, the less pain relief they experienced.

Skipping a shower
OK, so repeatedly missing showers may not win you any friends, but if you are ever tempted to skip a shower here and there, research suggests that you could be doing your health (and the environment) a favour. Daily washing not only strips your skin of the natural oils that keep it hydrated and supple, it could also strip your skin of good bacteria that help to prevent disease. If you do decide to skip a shower, just try to do it on a day when you won’t be vigorously working out!

Losing your temper
Many of us have been brought up to believe that losing our temper is the ultimate social faux pas. To an extent this is true (nobody wants to hang out with that person who is always losing their cool and shouting their mouth off), however research has found that losing your temper could actually be good for your health. Venting your emotions is believed to reduce the effects of stress, while a Swedish study found that men who bottled up their anger when unfairly treated at work doubled their risk of having a heart attack.

Sunbathing
In recent years, official advice has been that we should cover up in the sun at all times to protect ourselves from skin cancer. However, more recently experts have stated that actually little and frequent sun exposure is good for us. In the UK, where vitamin D deficiency is common, seven leading health groups and charities have issued a statement advising everyone to spend 10 minutes in the midday sun without sunblock in order to avoid rickets. Meanwhile, a US study has stated that the vitamin D produced by the sun could help ward off colds and flu. However, experts have stressed that people should cover up after 10 minutes, and skin should never be red at the end of the day.

Having a lie-in
Feeling guilty about your weekend lie-in? Don’t be! Research has found that sleep can help you live longer, boost your memory and reduce stress, while not getting enough can lead to accidents, weight gain, and increased risk of heart disease. Furthermore, delaying your morning workout in favour of some shut-eye may have health benefits, as research from Brunel University found that heavy training sessions early in the morning can compromise the immune system.

Giving in to your cravings
Although constantly giving into junk food cravings is a sure-fire way to sabotage your healthy eating success, allowing yourself the odd treat will not only boost your happiness, it will also help you keep motivated to stay on track. Also, as many people crave the foods that they most attempt to resist, allowing yourself a little of what you fancy can actually help to reduce cravings. If you have imposed extreme restrictions on your diet and cut out entire food groups, cravings could also be a sign of a nutrient deficiency in your diet.

Daydreaming
Many of us view daydreaming as a sign of laziness or form of procrastination; however, researchers at the University of British Columbia have found that letting your mind wander can actually help boost your problem-solving abilities. The study found that when participants minds wandered, the parts of their brain associated with problem-solving became more active than when focused on routine tasks. So, while daydreaming can increase the time it takes to complete your present task, it can allow you to unconsciously sort through other important problems in your life.

What else has happened on December 25?

For most, Christmas Day is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ or at least a holiday to get cosy with all the family and tuck into a juicy turkey with all the trimmings. But the world doesn’t stop because people are on holiday – as well as present giving, December 25 has seen the dissolution of a massive communist nation and the death of a well-loved silent movie star.

For those looking for a break from traditional Christmas pastimes, we look back through history at some of the most significant events to occur on Christmas Day.

1. William I was crowned (25 December 1066)
William the Conqueror had an eventful Christmas Day. Instead of going to church to pray for Jesus Christ, he was crowned King of England at Westminster Abbey after he and his Norman army defeated Harold II and the Anglo Saxons at the Battle of Hastings weeks earlier.

2. World War I ceasefire (25 December 1914)

Both the British and German armies along the Western Front took some time out on Christmas Day after an unofficial truce was made. Instead of battling it out, soldiers exchanged seasonal greetings, sung Christmas Carols and met on No Man’s Land where thousands of men of war even swapped gifts, like food, tobacco and alcohol. It also meant that during the five-day ceasefire, forces could collect the bodies of the war dead from the battle fields. Not everyone respected the truce, however, with some soldiers shot by the opposing side.

3. Isaac Newton born (25 December 1642)

For many the father of modern science, Isaac Newton was born in Woolsthorpe-by-Colsterworth in Lincolnshire on 25 December 1642, three months after the death of his father. It was 24 years later that the famous apple fell in a garden and by the time of his death in 1727 he had advanced every form of mathematics that then existed as well as discovering laws of physics and mathematical techniques that are still taught in schools today.

4. Apollo 8 enters lunar orbit (25 December 1968)

On December 25, while Brits were tucked up in bed waiting for Santa Claus to arrive, Americans were watching a special Christmas Eve broadcast live from the Apollo 8 spacecraft – it became the most-watched television broadcast.

On the first manned mission to the moon, Command Module Pilot Jim Lovell said: “The vast loneliness is awe-inspiring and it makes you realise just what you have back there on Earth.” While viewers saw a grainy black and white photo of the moon, Lovell along with Bill Anders and Frank Borman ended the broadcast by taking turns reading from the book of Genesis.

5. Tropical cyclone Tracy (25 December 1974)

One of the most devastating cyclones in Australian history hit the country on Christmas Day claiming 64 lives in total. Tracy was first detected as a depression in the Arafura Sea on 20 December before it moved slowly southwest and intensified, passing close to Bathurst Island on the 23rd and 24th.

Early Christmas Day, it headed straight for Darwin where it struck the city in the early morning. Warnings were issued, but – perhaps because it was Christmas Eve and people were complacent – many residents were caught unprepared. The effects were catastrophic as infrastructure in the city was left destroyed or badly damaged – costing many million Australian dollars to repair.

6. Death of Charlie Chaplin (25 December 1977)

One of the best-loved actors in the history of film died peacefully in his sleep on Christmas Day at his estate in Corsier-sur-Vevey, Switzerland aged 88. Born on 16 April 1889 in south London, he went onto become one of Hollywood’s most famous figures – noted for his performances in comic silent films. Sir Charles – who was knighted by Queen Elizabeth in 1975 – died a few hours before his family's traditional Christmas celebration was to begin.

7. Scientists achieve coldest temperature (25 December 1989)

For a team of Japanese scientists in 1989, Christmas Day was just another work day as they achieved the coldest temperature ever recorded – a chilly -271.8C.

8. First trial run of the World Wide Web (25 December 1990)

The reason you are reading this article now is because on Christmas Day 21 years ago, computer scientists completed the first successful trial run of a system that consisted of only two computers and a single server – which would eventually become the World Wide Web.

9. Mikhail Gorbachev resigns (25 December 1991)

It was a momentous 25 December for the former countries of the Soviet Union and a sad day for Mikhail Gorbachev who had lost his popularity to rival Boris Yeltsin and with Ukraine and the Baltic states declaring themselves independent, he addressed the broken Soviet Union in a 10-minute TV broadcast.

Gorbachev resigned after seven years in office and the Soviet Union was formally dissolved the following day. Two days after Gorbachev resigned, Yeltsin moved into Gorbachev's old office.

10. Failed US terror attack (25 December 2009)

Nigerian Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab attempted to spoil Christmas celebrations on a US flight from Amsterdam to Detroit by attempting to detonate an explosive device from his underwear. The 23-year-old engineering graduate turned terrorist admitted that he was working under the instructions of al-Qaeda in the hope of blowing up the aircraft.

According to witnesses on the plane, Abdulmutallab spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom as the flight approached Detroit, and then covered himself with a blanket after returning to his seat. Other passengers then heard strange noises and a burning smell and some saw Abdulmutallab’s trouser leg and the wall of the plane on fire. Fellow passenger Jasper Schuringa, a Dutch film director, jumped on Abdulmutallab and subdued him as flight attendants used fire extinguishers to douse the flames. He pleaded guilty of to eight charges including conspiring to commit terrorism and is due to be sentenced in January 2012.

5 things you should never say to a woman

When it comes to women knowing what not to say is just as important as knowing what to say…

“You look tired.”

You may have meant it in a concerned and loving way, but in her head it just translates as “You look terrible.” No woman wants attention drawn to the bags under her eyes and the lack lustre look of her skin – especially not by a man. And it’s even worse if she’s not even feeling tired. Then you’re just asking for trouble.

“It must be that time of the month.”

She might have told you she can be a total nightmare once a month, and you may even be tuned in to when that is, but if you have any sense of self-preservation whatsoever, never be so bold as to suggest her behaviour has any bearing on her pre-menstrual state unless you’re looking to spend some serious time in the dog house.

“You’re being too emotional.”
Use your brain guys. On which planet is this ever a helpful comment? The last thing she needs when she’s feeling emotional is to be told she’s being too emotional. And anyway, it will only result in her becoming even more emotional or angry. There’s absolutely no point. Better wait until things calm down before trying to talk about whatever’s on your mind.

“You’re becoming more and more like your mother.”

We doubt you meant it as a compliment, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Even if she thinks her mother is the most fantastic person ever to have walked the earth, she doesn’t want to be compared to her. It just highlights the fact that she’s getting older and that’s something she’s not keen on facing just now. Geddit?

“Your best mate is so beautiful.”

Have a heart fellas. Even if you do think her best friend is a stunner, keep it to yourself. Admitting you find her closest gal pal attractive will only inspire paranoia and turn her into a jealous and suspicious wreck. And that’s no fun for you to be around. So do yourself a favour and keep quiet.

Your Facebook profile could get you the sack

After an Apple employee was fired for ranting about his iPhone on Facebook, Robert Powell looks at the information you should never put online…

“Making the world more open and connected” is the mantra trumpeted by Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg as the key aim behind his social networking giant.

And isn’t that a nice, fluffy idea?

Well, it is, so long as you know exactly who you are being open and connected with. And as one lowly ex-employee recently found: most of the time, you don’t.

iFool

Samuel Crisp is a genius. Or, more accurately, he was, until he got sacked from Apple’s ‘Genius Bar’ (that’s the repair shop to you and I) in Norwich for behaving like something of an iFool on his iPhone.

Yes, Mr Crisp took to Facebook to vent some rage against an app on his handset that had messed up (not the exact words used) the phone’s time zones.

He also poked fun at the tagline that was used by Apple to launch the Beatles' back catalogue: “Tomorrow is another day that’ you’ll never forget” by posting “tomorrow’s just another day that hopefully I’ll forget”.

Employment tribunal

After being shown the door by Apple, Mr Crisp appealed to an employment tribunal about his sacking. He contended that the remarks were private and hence should not have impacted on his employment.

However the tribunal sided with Apple and said that the comments could have easily been passed on without any control from Mr Crisp.

The tribunal also heard that the ex-Apple employee had become disgruntled with the company after missing out on a transfer to the United States.

Social media policy

Part of the reason why Apple was able to dispatch the loose-lipped worker so easily was that it had written in social media guidelines that all employees had to abide by.

In a copy of the document leaked to the magazine PC World, the company states that if you identify yourself as an Apple employee you “should ensure that content associated with you is consistent with Apple policies”.

It goes on to say that all Apple workers should comply with the company’s business conduct policy on threat of disciplinary action “up to and including termination of employment”.

A guideline Samuel Crisp now knows all too well.

Spleen venting

Employment disputes surrounding comments posted online have become more common over the last few years. And they don’t necessarily have to be of a direct ‘spleen venting against your employer’ nature to result in a sacking.

Personal insults against colleagues and unsavoury or ill-timed status updates and photos could also land you a booking at the job centre.

Yes, you may have thoroughly enjoyed your boozy weekend away with the lads – but there’s no need for the world to see you drinking tequila from an armpit, is there?

Job hunters beware

You should be even more cautious with your online identity if you’re currently on the job hunt. Almost half of employers reportedly check the Facebook accounts of applicants as part of the recruitment process.

So if you’ve just come out of university and are looking for a job, it’s probably best to give your online persona something of a face-lift before sending off any CVs.

But rude and insulting comments and aren’t the only things you should avoid putting online.

Holiday plans

Nothing says ‘come and burgle my empty house while I’m away’ like an excited status update boasting of a looming holiday.

If you do want all of your mates to know about your plush trip to New York, for goodness sake wait until you get back to brag about it.

But even then, try not to include any photos of the brand new laptop or iPad you brought back with you. There’s no need to give criminals a shopping list for your home now, is there?

Indeed, the fact that so many of us are posting this potentially risky info online has got insurers worried, with warnings that it may lead to higher premiums.

[See also: Why Facebook means your bills will rise]

Photos and location data

Sharing photos is a key part of any social networker's online life. However, be careful which snaps you upload. As I mentioned earlier, embarrassing shots could land you in trouble with your employer.

But overly detailed and extensive photos of your home can also provide something of a road map for a robbery if accessed by the wrong person.

You should also be careful when using location-based applications. Facebook Places may allow you to check in with your flatmates at a pricey restaurant and show the world what a sophisticated palette you have, but it also lets burglars know that your property is empty.

Personal information

Obvious stuff really. Never, ever put your address, telephone number, birth date and place, mother's maiden name or any other personal information online.

On an obvious level this information can be used to locate your home and target you with phone, text and mail fraud or spam.

But further to this, many will use personal information as passwords for online accounts. Yet this information stops being so personal if you broadcast it to the world through your Facebook account. So don’t do it!

In fact, you shouldn’t be using personal information as passwords anyway.

An example. Last week the credit card of my somewhat techno-phobic parents was charged £130 for an Amazon gift voucher. How? Someone had mysteriously hacked into their Amazon account by cracking its cryptic password. And this unbreakable key word was… the home postcode.

Mind your privates

In addition to taking care over what you put online, it’s also worth keeping a firm grip on who exactly can access your information. You can do this by cranking up the privacy settings on any sites you use.

For example, Facebook asks that you specify which online groups can see what information of yours. For me, this option is set firmly to ‘friends only’. This means that only users that I agree to ‘befriend’ can get hold of the sparse collection of information on my profile.

From here, you just need to ensure that you never accept friend requests from strangers.

A just sacking?

Should Mr Crisp have been sacked for bashing Apple on Facebook?

How to tell if he's a womaniser

He has lots of female acquaintances but no female friends
He finds it hard to see women in anything but a sexual light and views every female as a potential conquest. This makes him incapable of maintaining a normal platonic friendship with anyone of the opposite sex.

He promises the earth
While most men are reticent about commitment, a womaniser doesn’t think twice about hinting at a future together. Of course he has no intention of seeing it through, he just knows exactly what you want to hear. Be wary of a chap who promises too much too soon. It’ll hurt like hell when he decides to take it away – and he certainly will once he’s got what he wanted.

He asks a lot of questions
At first you think it’s great that he’s so attentive and interested in finding out what makes you tick, but don’t be fooled. He’s just doing the research that he’ll later put to good use by pretending to have the same aspirations, tastes, likes and dislikes as you.

He makes you think dirty
A cunning Cassanova is adept at priming females for sex by subtly dropping a few innuendos into the conversation or finding excuses to bring up the topic of sex. It’s a smooth way of manipulating your subconscious into thinking naughty thoughts. And guess who reaps the rewards?

He arranges dates at hotel bars
Once he’s got you in the mood with all the sexy talk, it’s only a short trip from the bar to the bedroom. See what he did there?

He’s vain
Most womanisers have big egos and a sense of vanity to match. Just because he wears expensive clothes and is always well-heeled doesn’t mean he’s a lothario but over-confidence, a general sense of superiority, swagger and a tendency to show off should be viewed with extreme caution.

He locks his phone
If his phone rarely stops buzzing and he starts acting shady or shifts the screen away from your gaze whenever it rings, his furtive behaviour is trying to hide the fact that he’s busy making plans with other women.

He ‘forgets’ your name
While he may not be clumsy enough to actually call you by another name, he will employ little tricks so as not to blow his cover. Be on your guard if he starts using blanket terms of endearment like ‘babe’, ‘darling’ and ‘sweetie’ when you’ve only just met. He’s just making sure he doesn’t get your name muddled up with one of his other girlfriends.

He’s over complimentary
Womanisers are clever creatures. They have a unique sense that’s finely attuned to the female psyche and hence are brilliant at knowing what you want to hear even if they don’t mean it. When compliments glide off his tongue like honey it’s hard not to be taken in, but you have to ask yourself how many times he’s used these lines before.

He has as short attention span
A womaniser gets off on the challenge of a conquest but rapidly loses interest once he’s achieved his goal - getting you into bed. Obviously, you can’t know this for sure until it’s too late, but if you suspect he might be a player try staving off sexual involvement for a week to see if he loses interest.

He flashes his cash
Womanisers often use wealth to impress their prey. He may well make sure your glass is always full and that you never have to reach for your purse, but his intentions are not honourable.